CTAHG finds himself at a very quaint Christmas party at a bar with his business associates when a mature business partner walks up to him.
Partner– MERRY CHRISTMAS!
CTAHG– No, I’m not Christian so…
Partner– Oh, well in that case happy holidays.
CTAHG– Fair enough.
Partner– So what do you have planned for the rest of the evening? You probably have a hot date tonight with your girlfriend.
CTAHG– No, not really. Girls don’t normally come up to me.
Partner– Is that so? I can’t believe that would be the case.
CTAHG– Ya, story of my life…
Partner– Ya I don’t have any plans either. Maybe we could rustle us up something to do…
CTAHG– Maybe later, I really need to leave but my car is still up at the office…
Partner– Well I could give you a ride if you really need one.
CTAHG– Only if it doesn’t inconvenience you, than sure.
Our hero arrives at his business firms parking lot.
CTAHG– Thanks for the ride.
Partner– Oh it was my pleasure. Oh no, I think I left my office light on.
CTAHG– I don’t see a light on?
Partner– No, I’m pretty sure I left them on. Don’t you think I should go up there and turn them off?
CTAHG– No they’ll be fine
Partner– I really think I should turn them off… why don’t you help me?
CTAHG– No they’re halogen, don’t worry about it.
Partner– Do you want to come up to my office and have sex?
In this week’s installment of Can’t Take a Hint Guy, our clueless protagonist is just the regular college student with a lot on his mind. He gets offered some good good and he doesn’t even notice.
Honestly, this one has happened to me before and to this day it still haunts me lol. Okay, not really. But something like this really did happen to me.
CTAHG arrives at his local college campus foyer, relaxing and enjoying the afternoon hoping to catch up on some E-mails he’s been neglecting in between classes. Suddenly a very pretty girl walks up.
Girl– Hey there Mr. lonely. What are you doing out here all by yourself?
CTAHG– Hey. I’m just checking some things on my computer.
Girl– Oh, well do you want some company?
CTAHG– Sure, I guess.
Girl– So I just got out of my physics class and I don’t have to go to my next class for like 45 minutes.
CTAHG– Man, that sounds like a great job of spacing out your classes.
Girl– Ya, but I just don’t know what I could do with my time. Do you have any suggestions? Maybe we could do something together.
CTAHG-I think I can help you. There’s this great little museum just around the corner and I think you could fit in a good chunk of it by the time you have to be in your next class. Education first!
Girl– I have a better idea. I just moved into this cute new apartment and I’d love to give you a private tour.
CTAHG– If you had asked me at any other time I would have gone. It’s just that I haven’t been into my E-mail in awhile and I gotta go through it before it just gets too full. But it sounds like it would be amazing.
Girl– It would be, but now you’ll never know. Fag
*Girl storms off indignantly*
We’ve all been there. We’ve all fucked up an opportunity to get laid. Maybe we weren’t pay too much attention because our focus was on video games or some shit but a girl was giving us great vibes and we just didn’t realize what was happening until hours, days or even months later. Furthermore, the advent of the term “thirsty” makes us even more cautious about looking too desperate so we don’t even seem interested.
I’ve decided to start a series of exaggerated dialogues where a guy just can’t take a hint.
CTAHG: Have too much to drink? Do you need me to call a cab for you?
Can’t take a hint guy walks his very pretty and very respectable date to her door after a date. Some may or may not have happened to me in real life.
Girl– So tonight was great; I really had a lot of fun.
CTAHG– I know right, man, I wish it didn’t have to end.
Girl– Well, who said it has to…?
CTAHG– What is that supposed to mean? It’s clearly too late to go out for a movie, and we’ve already eaten dinner.
Girl– You could come upstairs with me and we could…
CTAHG– We could do what? I mean there isn’t much that we could do up there that I couldn’t do at my own home.
Girl-Oh, ok. Well, do you want a cup of coffee?
CTAHG– You don’t have to do that. Plus it’s night time and who drinks coffee at night? I mean this is the time when people go to sleep.
Girl– Listen, if you come upstairs with me, I’ll make it worth your while…
CTAHG-Naw, I’m alright. I’ve got guitar hero back at the house calling my name. See ya later.
See Part 2 Here