Facebook + Girlfriend = Problems
Our girlfriends have eyes everywhere… even on The Book.
There seems to be a double standard pervading America still to this day.
I know that as guys we tend to enjoy double-standards, i.e. being able to bang as many chicks as we want without social consequence.
However, for once this particular double standard isn’t working out for us.
I speak of course of the technological temper tantrum just waiting to happen, better known as writing on a girl’s Facebook wall.
Now normally this wouldn’t be a problem. After all, Facebook is a social networking site. However the rules drastically change once you enter a girlfriend into the equation.
For some reason it’s okay for a girl to communicate via Facebook with as many guy friends as she wants, but the second you get even a slight cyber giggle from that cute chick you sit across from in Biology it’s the end of the world.
Ever hear something like this:
Girl– “So I saw that you wrote that ho today.”
Boy– “What are you talking about?”
Girl- “That slut that keeps posting on your wall. I saw that you responded back.”
Boy– “Well yeah, that’s normally what people do when somebody starts a conversation.”
Girl– “Oh well I’m glad you have SO MUCH time to talk to all these other skanks but you DIDN’T EVEN notice when I sent you that new piece of flair earlier.”
Boy– “It was a picture of Hello Kitty. What the hell was I supposed to say?”
Girl– “HOW ABOUT THANKS, YOU FUCKING JERK! I HOPE YOU AND THAT BITCH HAVE A HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER!”
(GF slams door and runs away crying.)
The sad thing is that most of the conversations guys have with girls on Facebook are pretty harmless on the flirtatious scale. Most of the time they’re some kind of inside joke from class, or fond remembrance of a drunken party you both attended. Very rarely are they the cause for WWIII that our girlfriends tend to believe they are.
So in an effort to keep the peace, I’ve come up with a few ideas to help you avoid these Facebook fiascoes.
*Get technical: If you go to your Facebook account privacy settings you’ll be able to disable certain functions like “show wall posts” as well as “show comments” on things like photos, notes, videos and relationship statuses. This should allow you to communicate with whomever without fear of your convo popping up on certain females newsfeeds.
*Inboxes are your friend: Not that you have anything to hide, but lets face it. Certain wall posts are just itching to put you in the doghouse when talking to other chicks besides your GF. If the case necessitates it, write back and forth through Facebook messages. Just make sure to delete both ingoing and outgoing messages if anyone else but you has access to your account.
*Just say no: In the opposite of Nike fashion, just don’t do it. Ask yourself if it’s really important to communicate with whoever is hollerin at you. In most cases it’s not, and when it is you can always hit that person up on the cell or better yet in person. It just makes for less drama with your baby mama, so stop and think before responding back.
Facebook has evolved from a way to keep up with old high school buddies into a tool for our girlfriends to keep track of our every move. The sad thing is all this would be impossible if not for our own obsession with The Book. In the end the smartest move would be to just delete your account and be done with it. But I’m pretty sure we all signed away our souls the minute we accepted the Facebook terms of service agreement, so follow these tips and you should be good as gold.
Until next time, remember:
“I almost had a psychic girl one time, but then she dumped me before we met.”–Anonymous