Pre-Gaming 101

If you read the title of this post and for some reason think this may involve, in any way, video games or some form or Dungeons and Dragons please… pause, look around, make sure someone is watching you, and punch yourself in the nuts.

For some of you, an overwhelming feeling of NOTHING may come over your body. Please do not be worried. Your nuts have yet to drop. So wait a few years and repeat the steps above.

Some take pre-gaming to a whole new level…

Pre-Gaming is when you drink before you’re about to drink. Yes, that’s right…drink before you drink. Not only could this help you show up to any event ready to go it could also save you a ton of money in the long run.

So you, like the rest of us, enjoy going out, making typical retarded decisions, and living in the moment. Unfortunately you, like the rest of us, have no money.

Solution? Pre-Gaming.

With that being said, I present you a few useful tips for success…

Don’t get too trashed

Pretty self-explanatory right? Wrong. You have no idea how many dumbasses completely bypass this step and get so tanked their night literally ends 30 minutes after it started. Take your time. The object here is to get a buzz not trashed.

Drink selection doesn’t matter

Usually when you’re in the event of “Pre-Gaming” it really doesn’t matter what you drink. Personally, I will drink just about anything alcoholic. On the other hand you may have some friends (pussies) who will only drink the finest of drinks. How dare you have no standards? Realize, this isn’t the case. Your friends are gay and don’t understand what Pre-Gaming is all about. You don’t have time to be selective…which brings me to my next point.

How you drink doesn’t matter either

Whether you want to make sip, make a quick chug or play drinking games, it doesn’t fucking matter. Just get that Jesus Juice in your system somehow!

Don’t Pre-Game too long

The goal in Pre-Gaming is to get a buzz and go to whatever party/event/mass gathering you planned on going to that night. Under no circumstance should you be Pre-Gaming for more than two hours. This isn’t Pre-Gaming. This is turning a non-gay event into a sausage fest and you don’t have hot dug buns. Don’t make this mistake.

Never Pre-Game at your house

Who really wants all of their friends at their house anyway to f*ck stuff up. Some of your friends may be hungry and want food, others may need to take a massive #2 that they have been holding all day, and others may just want to mooch off of your beer. Solution? Don’t Pre-Game at your house. Try and pick a buddy who always happens to have a fully stocked fridge of beer or several liquors handy. Usually this is the guy that has to do things like this to get people to come over and will always be more than happy to have a “friend” come over and drink his stash. When it comes time to go to the party you just forget to tell him where its at.

Never Pre-Game and drive

Safety first. The last thing we here at K.O.W. want is for you to go out and Pre-Game, get drunk, drive, get in an accident, and hurt someone who actually has a purpose in life. Seriously, don’t be a retard. And no the excuse, “I am an excellent drunk driver” will not work.

So now you no longer have to twiddle your thumbs or think of sh*t to do until the party starts. Finally, something constructive for you to do that can actually save you money. So what are you waiting for? Go out and Pre-Game. Use these tips and feel free to share the wealth with any Friends, Parents, Grandparents, Hobbits, or Unicorn Handlers that may have lived a life without the many benefits of Pre-Gaming.